Tale of Two Cities

The last ten days have been what ud call a script of a "cliche bollywood flick" There was Action... Drama .... Suspense... (But becasue this is "MY" life no "SEX".... SIGH!!!!) Yes!! ten days two cities.... two very terrible overnight bus journeys...and lot of tension....

Yeah the two cities ..which from now might be the two cities of utmost imporatance in my life ... Banglore and Hyderabad...(NO I am not planning to get myself a job in a software multinational!!!..)

Family is shifting to Hyderabad (Will get confirmed by the weekend...) and I might end up getting transferred in Bangalore. The probability of the first event happening is 0.999999 and the second one is 0.5 low cause its conditional probability ... based on the event - Suhas QUITS. However if the second event does happen.. I'll then be used to "En... Da" during the week and "Yendra..." during weekends :)

Which in-turn means Good-Bye Maker Kundan Gardens...
Tough to leave a place u have been living in for the past 15 years..!!! SO after Varun, Anand, Sandeep. Sabrish and Vibha.. finally mera number agaya..!!!

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About Banglore...weather was awesome.... cause it rained and all.. but overall its not as bad as mumbai, the heat over here is killing, But everything else... was just so thanda..
Office .. Home..Sleep Office.... Far from the fun which i used to associate with Banglore a couple of years back...Well Nitin.. I should say banglore is "damn boring" without you.. DA!!!...

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Funny how someone leaves a comment about your comment... on someone elses blog... as anonymous.. Mr/Ms anonymous wrote that he/she loved my comment... Intresting.... for more on my writing capabilities.. read "THIS" space : ) ....

Say Bye Bye Mr. Solution Architect and Hello Mr. VP

Q. How will you feel if you are made VP of the largest Indian engineering company for one day?

I have a very well rehearsed answer to this..thanks to the seminar i attended. :)

Just before the seminar, when we were being escorted to the seminar hall, i found myslef surrounded by people who had an average work- experience equivalent to my age.!! The average age of the entire group with out me was about 45!!!... All MDs, GMs and other chotta companies ka bada log.

So to match the rest of the gang, on the guest sheet, written next to my name were the words I never would have associated with me till atleast another 20 years.... The words were "Vice President." I was like .. "Woah.. baby!!!!"

To meet the expectations of the title given to me, I defiantly pulled out a pen and signed the sheet with a (momentarily acquired) VP type finnese....After a few seconds the delegate yanked the sheet from my hand and thrust the documentation pack into my hands, pullling me out of my state of momentuousness... To tell you the truth this incident tops my "3 seconds of absolute importance" list. Nikhil too had his share of "3 seconds of absolute importance" feeling, cause printed next to his name were the words - "Sr. DGM"

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Ohhh... all the time duing the seminar i was reminded of apna GK's "love" for the gujju community. Right now I must say Girish, I always thought you used to exaggerate whenever you described them. Well now i think you are absolutely right...!!

Here is what happened!...
Name of Seminar : Mission to Indian Navy
Purpose : To introduce requirements of Indian Navy to Indian Industry

Act 1 - Scene 1

On our way to this place I was discussing with Nikhil how we should have worn a tie and that we will be the only ones dressed "not so'' formally.

But fortunately.....at the entrance we noticed apna Ramink Bhai.... hailing from Bhavnagar, Gujrat with the first three buttons of his shirt undone, walking with a completely unrefined swagger. Not to mention after looking at him I felt very suave.

Act1 - Scene 2
When we reach the intended destination, apna ramink bhai charges past a couple of naval officers waiting for the lift. Yes!!! those officers were waiting for arround ten minutes to get into the lift... and to top it off ramink bhai shouts out to Patel bhai.."Patel Bhai -- aiyyaa aaoo, Jaldi". Patel bhai also manages to shove the two officers aside to enter the lift. Lift door closes... leaving the two officers staring at each other.

Act 1 - Scene 3
(Lunch Time)
Ramink Bhai still with top three buttons of his shirt open tries to initiate conversation with naval officers, fails miserably. In the mean time the helper, puts a plate of chips on the counter. A group of people (including officers) gather arround the plate and are picking one or two at a time.

Now enter Ramink Bhai..!!! Shoves people aside grabs the plate, walks over to the seating area, thumps the plate on the glass side table near the couch, and shouts out to Patel bhai...."Aiyya avi jao, Baisi Jaaoo ne ... aiyaa..."

People at the counter are still trying to recover from the tyrannies of the "chip pirate."

I must say ...with due respect... business class gujju discipline and naval officers' protocol of conduct are far from being similar!!!!
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P.S. Please to be noting I still love Khaman, Dholka and Khakra...!!!! :)

Somehow thought I should upload this....

============
Icarius
============
Their sights transfixed on the other
Blood thirsty swords drawn
Wishing to slay one another
His heart betrayed him as he looked on
Icarius t'was, dearer than his brother

His mind flew back to a time
Not long before, Icarius and he
Rode on together like music and rhyme
Calling out to each other in sheer glee
With love which like an eternal star did shine
"Icarius I'll give my life for thee"

A friendship which others swore by
Mysteriously vanished as the deserts rain
He never would beguile
They ponederd, but in vain
Repeled by disgust, trust would die

The news of mistrust spread far and wide
The face of the enemy sure did glow
And in pludendering the two kingdoms he took pride
Leaving them to think friend hath turned foe
He swore "Icarius I shall skin thy hide"

Now with the bloody edges drawn high
To decease the others throat
Both still could hear their hearts cry
Not knowing when the sword cut the metal coat
Icarius cried out with bloody tears "WHY ?"

- Suhas Kulkarni

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Written by urs truly sometime back...!!! :)

Ingeniously Indegenised

Date : 12th September 2030
Location : Mumbai, India

Our not-so average inquisitive, studious 13 year old urban school boy... (not into durgs, still a virgin) switches on his swanky new pocket server, activates the voice command function. A little while later he bursts out.."Connect to the net". The palmtop echos back in a 1950 american radio jocky ishtyle "Online".
Boy : "Search India's roadmap to becoming a super power"
Jazzy palmtop : "30,322 searches found"
Boy scrolls down and says "Give me more details on search entry number 23"
Jazzy palmtop : "One moment please"
After a while page is loaded, boy goes through the webpage and shouts at the jazzy palmtop in a enthuasistic tone, consciously making an effort that his excitement does not change his accent, "Engage Bluetooth"
Jazzy palmtop : "Bluetooth engaged"
Boy : "Print page"
Jazzy palmtop : "One moment please.....Page printed"
Boy - (after getting the print) "Disengage bluetooth"
Jazzy palmtop : " Bluetooth disengaged"
Boy : "Initiate shutdown"
Our boy has now completed his history assignment for the next day, so hits the intercom and calls Bunty.
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This is what our able defence ministry is trying to achieve, India- a superpower in the near future. I completely vouch for this dream and am totally comfortable with the fact a major chunk of the tax I pay is being utilised for this purpose.

Now question them as to, how this dream shall become a reality, they reply " Presently the Indian armed forces are looking to interact with the burgeoning Indian Industry. Through this interaction we intend to build competetive units that shall indegenously manufacture sub-assemblies and equipments that go onboard aircrafts, ships, tanks etc. Through this excercise we intend to become self-reliant, and self-reliance is the first step to becoming a super power."

Point well taken. Indegenisation, self-reliance all nice terms to use, sounds very nice. Well.. on the outset you would think.."Yaar its possible."

Then you look at the list of items these folks want to indegenise. You look at the list and say "Hey,wait a minute... this list consists of basic spares... ummm Valves, gaskets, bearings, bolts, fasteners....."

Bingo!!! The very technological advanced Indian industry is only capable of manufacturing spare parts. NOT CRICTICAL SYSTEMS..!!! When confronted they sheepishly say, "Indian Industry does not have the capability to build such critical systems, It is the question of human lives and survivability..(oh.. and my personal best...) mission criticality."

The sad part is that we still depend upon the Goras for critical systems and invariably place blind faith in the quality and "mission criticality" of the same . Ohh and we so.. dont know about the Russian submarine disaster and Columbia space shuttle disaster and other such misadventures. Well as far as i remember the component that failed and caused these catastrophies... wasnt labled "Made in India."

Moving on.. we also seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that the Goras are taking us for a ride. And yet we are the same people who take pride in writing software for the Goras tax managment consultant and unknowlingly justify the amount of tax the average Gora is paying for the development of "mission critical" systems, by purchasing them for protecting our ass. Ohh and please to be noting the same software engineers' income tax is used to purchase these mission critical items.

Whatever happened to the real meaning of indegenisation which involves rigourous design and development programmes to come up with a good quality INDIAN mission critical system. Its not that we dont have the grey matter in the country. If they can claim to write the most efficient tax managment and complex supply chain managment softwares, they must be having commendable amount of thinking matter.

Only thanks to our current president this theory may become the order of the day.. Soon. Yeah by soon i mean a time frame in years equivalent to the number of days i took to shift to New Mumbai.!!

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(Mr Blog : You made me feel miserable for not being able to upload stuff for a couple of days. Hope this update pacifies you for the time being)

this is your blog speaking....

please please please...blog!!

you know it is so embarassing that people open me almost every other day...and when they see that i have nothing new to show them they just move on to something else...it's very depressing..they will stop checking me out if you do not blog more often...and that will just kill my spirit...

hence kindly oblige...

Thank God Its Friday!!!

Took the day off... to reflect upon my career plans and delve into the realms of my inner self to find out "Why am I here..???" ... Ohhh who am i kidding, all that is unchartered territory for me.

Right now its about the MBA blues that hits me every now and then, often feel giulty about not being able to devote enough time to study. But hey!! I am working and studying after travelling from Mahape to Juhu is "suhasly" impossible (Please note .. i have used suhasly instead of humanly) cause people keep coming up with cliche's like "where there is a will there is a way" and "Nothing is impossible in this world", blah blah. Here is what is impossible..." Travelling from Juhu to Mahape using a single public transport". Mr Chief minister how about taking this into your "Things to do to actually make peoples lives better" list.

Anyways as promised I will be shifting soon to Navi Mumbai, although this "soon" has taken about 150 days. Kopar Khirane here I come..!!!

Well of late I have been bitten by this "I can change the way things work" bug, well to start off - We (which includes some of my very able collegues) intend to change the way projects are documented, further extending the same to a standard format.
Keeping my promise of coming up with a "song of the moment/day"
Its.
Ohhh.!! Yuva Yuva Oh Yuva!!

and what mare am damn confident that WE will pull it off..!!

The Grand Debut...

Finally I shall be able to publish mindless jargon on the Wild Wild Web... This after endless attempts to get a god-damned blog address. One of the attempts being - "ihatemurphy.blogspot.com" , this was obviously after a million other attempts. The only successful one being Godisprobability.blogspot.com. Neways thanks Vibha :)

Well to start of it was a day marred by misinterpreted e-mails. Barve and to some extent Saumya will stand testimony to this fact.... and strangely I kept singing "Thats me in the corner, Thats me in the spotlight, Losing my religion!" which somehow seemed more appropriate after planning my performance for 05-06.

Yeah, thats right "Losing my religion" is my "Song Of the Day" And if you are wondering-Yes I belong to the school of thought which believes that every human emotion can be represented by a song. (Mindless bollywood musicals do tend to influence you..)

Moving on... after the performance planning ordeal, I have to now churn out a detailed action plan for each of my objectives. How all this is going to materialise is still a mystery to me... And it doesnt really help when you spend two days punching in all sorts of search keywords on google.com to figure out the right type of control architecture for a certain system which ends up being washed out from the "Probable Order" board.

Hmmph!... All the effort for nothing.
Might as well end by....

"Thats me in the corner.
Thats me in the spot-light
Losing my Religion"

hello..testing..123