Pandora's Thought Bubble

Crescent Lord

2006-06-04T19:26:00.001+05:30

Wings of fire burn in despair,
As the watery depth devours its rage.
It surrenders in a crimson blaze,
Which fades away and so sets the stage,
For the crescent lord.
Whos dark empire is gaurded,
By specs that form a silvery maze.

- Suhas Kulkarni

What were they thinking!!!

2006-06-01T16:25:00.000+05:30

Unfortuately the strike which almost threatened to do damage .. is now called off...The judiciary this time coming to the aid of the government..!!

It is actually a shame when the Left condemns any reformist moves taken by the finance minister and at the same time goes out of the way for the betterment of West Bengal...!!

It is a shame that the Janata Party which was born to trample the beaurocratic nature of congree politics has resorted to pettey politics of religion.

It is shame that instead of battling the brain drain.. the government things it is better to kill merit and appease the minority encouraging hatered amongst the youth..

And last but not the least it is shame that Pritrana the political party started by IITians is also headed towards petty caste based politics..!!!

The british rule did teach us how to divide and rule...

Because it is just not your day......

2006-05-04T12:05:00.000+05:30

Has it happened to you....

You walk out..and that nasty crow.. just seems to find your shoulder.. (OHH and you had just put on that new "Arrow" shirt to be all "correctly" dressed for that all important meeting....

The vehicle you were travelling in just seems to break down on.. you... and then you get into another one just to find yourself stuck in a god forsaken traffic jam..

...You are late for everything, and all of a sudden you are staring down that barrel pointing at your face...and thats when they say its all because its not your day...!!!!

But when you feel her healing hand gently caressing your face, you know after all it was your day..!!!

Trilogy has been Interrupted...

2006-04-24T09:49:00.000+05:30

A recent newspaper headline reminded me of this incident...

Year 2005
The usual proceedings , during diwali.. wake up early in the morning... attend the aarti ..and hit the bed, try to force yourself back to sleep but those loud and noisy crackers just wont let you.. drag your lazy ass to the bathroom. Later hog on the diwali delicacies prepared by mum.

Immediately after the sumptuous brunch grab your wallet and keep it on stadby for the deployment of bakshish... a few mins later

KRRRRRIIIINGGG...
Its the milkman..
Wish him happy diwali.. go through the bakshish list ... look for the lowest amount given .. then quickly scan through for the highest amount.. then quickly try and figure out the mode value.. and pay him.. I call this the "standard bakshish giving procedure"... shut the door.. go back to the sofa still clutching on the wallet which is still on stadby for bakshish deployment..

a few mins later...Krrinnng.. its the cleaner, the watchman, the dhobi..

But 2005 was different and special in a way..

Just as I was getting ready for my siesta... the postman comes looking for his share of diwali bakshish..

I walk up to the door...and perform the standard bakshish giving procedure and we exchange diwali greetings and he hands over the mail..... The mail consists the usual .... greeting cards from relatives.. "exciting" citibank offers but a postcard catches my eye... I check it out it... and its turns out it is for me...

A post card written to me by someone.. in 2005...whatever happened to e-mails and sms' did the global e-communication industry just become too erratic and undependable for someone to communicate via postcard... Neways I check it, It is from my cousin....... in goa.. Initially I think he was just being nice and nostalgic , cause when we were kids we used to write to each other quite often...

I read it... "Hi Suhas, we have just finished our exams and when will you been done with yous. We are really looking forward for your trip to Goa. Get Suma along as you had promised in your earlier letter..."

I was like.. WHAT... I glanced back to the top of the post card... It was dated 6/4/94... It took the Indian Postal Department 11 years to deliver a post card. Talk about efficiency....

Now.. with the recent move by the government to sqash the 50% of the 4000 crore private courier business by transfering the sole rights to deliver documents below 500 gms you can expect the unexpected...

An efficient and thriving industry has been stabbed in the back. and the Indian Postal Department gears up to meet this new opportunity with its inefficiency. So if I want to courier any document I will have to walk to the nearest post office.. only to find that the post babu is not on his seat and has gone for his customary tea break or to find that the counter is closed... No more walking to DHL/ARAMEX/Sri Satya Sai couriers at 4:00pm on a sunday to post that all important document....

I guess the courier industry and the stationery industry will get together and invest in inventing a new brand of heavy printing paper so that even a single page document weighs more than 500 gms...!!!

The Comeback - Part 1

2006-04-04T12:22:00.000+05:30

Okay, I have awakened from my deep slumber of apathy.

I had entered this state where I blamed my laziness to exercise my gray matter on a “writer’s block”. But a discussion on Vibsters blog has tickled those inactive brain cells and to say that they have been forced into overdrive is an understatement.
Some of the topics discussed got me thinking and through this post I wish to add to the discussion.

The Nuclear Arms Race.

A lot has been said and written about why going nuclear is not right and that it propagates an arms race where money is invested in acquiring state of the art arms and researching technology that will equip the warheads of these arms with rare earth radio-active metals.

Well here I will just side step and create a situation at a micro level. Lets then analyze that situation and reach a solution.

Since the average (middle class) Indian and the hapless farmer have been the stake holders in many theories built up around the nuclear arms race, let the situation be based on a not so well off farmer who owns a piece of fertile ground which has (off-late) not been yielding high returns. Much like our country in the early nineties. Now our farmer knows that if he works hard he will be able to achieve a healthy yield and probably afford good education for his children. Ohhh.. and like our country the farmer is harassed by two neighbors.

His farm land is adjacent to a landlord’s farm which is doing well but the evil landlord wants to encroach on our poor farmers land and he does this by cutting the irrigation to the farmers land which is through a canal under his control.

The other end is a colony of monkeys that feast on the crop and destroy them. So now what does this farmer do.

Solution 1
He can agree to give away a piece of land to the landlord and work out an arrangement in which he is assured of conitunous water supply and make peace with the fact that a certain percentage of his yield will be destroyed by the troublesome monkeys. Which would mean living in degraded conditions, which is cowardice and goes against the farmer’s principles of fighting for ones rights.

Solution 2
He borrows money and erects an electric fence to combat the pesky monkeys and invests in an alternative method for irrigation. Now to implement this he must cut into his household expenses like food, clothes etc. But the farmer knows that this investment shall reap healthy benefits albeit a little later.

Now I think that equipping ourselves with arms and hi-tech weapons (which I feel should be indigenously developed rather than imported) is on the same lines as Solution 2. We basically aim to achieve territorial security by investing money in them. So once we have the missiles that have a range of 2500Km and the technology to equip these missiles with rare-earth radioactive metals I say we are fairly well placed w.r.t territorial security. And contradictory to some people’s belief I think this deterrent theory works quite efficiently. Once this basic need of territorial security is sufficed the country then becomes a safe haven for economic growth. A safe country offers more opportunity for investment both domestic and foreign and its no rocket science that capital investment in agriculture, infrastructure and manufacturing sector fuels economic growth. So war torn countries will never grow because no one wants to invest in an economy, which shall be blown into pieces on the advent of another war. So I guess it is pretty evident to any person with an average IQ that socio-economic growth can only take place when a country is secure. Hence the philosophy and ideology of implementing a nation can be put in place when a country is safe.

To assess the success of the deterrent theory let us now look at the Indian Scenario. India has fought three wars. Two with Pakistan and one with the mighty China. Out of which we have lost territory in two wars and it has crippled the once flourishing tourism industry in Jammu and Kashmir. The one war in which we were successful can be attributed to the brilliant strategy implemented by the Indian Navy. It is to be noted that the missile boats used to bomb Karachi weren’t in the best of “health”, and this quote after reading a detailed article about the same at www.bharat-rakshak.com/navy . Now the Indian armed forces have acquired a lot of muscle power since then. The Sukhoi’s, MIGs, AGNI, Dhanush, Prithvi, Brahmos, Barrack and the technology to arm these with a nuclear war head. How many “WARS” has the country experienced since then. ZERO. Now some of you will throw their hands up in disapproval. “KARGIL” will be your reply. Well Kargil was a co-ordinated terrorist insurgency some what similar to the WTC incident its not a War. Many of us south of Srinagar or rather all of us south of Srinagar except those whose relatives were up north battling it out for us were going about our lives with the same routine. No emergency, no trouble. Now, if we were not supreme in land, air and sea Kargil could have been another 1971. Ahh.. yes one more point Indian Army was caught on the wrong foot with lack of technology. Our soldiers were not equipped with night vision and other gadgets which would have made it easy for them to wage war at night, and it could have possibly reduced loss of Indian lives. Again, we need money to invest to buy these gadgets and arms, and I feel that this is money well spent.

It must be pretty evident to everyone that I support the idea of India going nuclear and I feel it was money well spent. Yes money well spent, especially when you have a nuclear power who wants to claim control over Sikkim and has already eaten away the east of Jammu and Kashmir as your next door neighbour.

I am also proud of the fact that unlike the Sukhoi’s MIGs and the Barracks the nuclear program was indigenous and has equipped our scientists with the capability and the confidence to explore the feared… Fast breeder program, which has been abandoned by many developed nations. Now this brings me to my favorite topic ENERGY which will be addressed in Part 2 of the great comeback trilogy… so till then adios

But It Rained....

2006-01-02T13:23:00.000+05:30

Does this life get any better,
Yesterday more than today,
When I thought the sun would shine tommorow
But it rained... !!!!!

2nd Innings

2005-12-20T18:19:00.000+05:30

Oh....kay I am back... with an update ..its been a long time since I have converted the abstract chaos unfolding in my mind into words. So this post in a sense heralds a point in time wherein this space will be updated regulary... Umm.. basically i'll try and not be lazy.
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Completely off-track..

The million tonne metallic giant thundered along its parallel guides and gazing through the semi transparent window I could see lights blur past as if forming yellow lines. A proof that man had conquered that peice of land and blessed it with his most amazing creation - Electricity.

Now since man's desire to conquer land is selective, it wasnt too long till I noticed darkness outside..The darkness outside had something primitive and pristine about it. The muffled sound of wheel hitting the track joints filled the compartment overpowering the silence within. I checked my cell phone, it was 8:00.(Its amazing.. the advent of cellular technology has made the wrist watch completely redundant and unnecessary, atleast for me). Dinner would be served any minute.

Sitting right across me, were an aged couple, the man seemed to be retired, in his early sixties and the woman in her late fifties. It was almost two hours since they had spoken to one another, and the strange thing was that both of 'em were wide awake.

The woman staring into the darkness outside as if admiring the nothingness it had to offer and the man reading the paper intently. Each, completely at peace with their self imposed anonymity. In the last two hours their eyes met just once as if to acknowledge the others presence.

Now will all of us end up like this... bored of the other person, stop rediscovering ourself as a couple and as an individual ?? ..... Fortunately a hot coup of soup diverted my attention from worrying about things which may happen thirty years from now. Its amazing how food... tends to bring your thought process to a moratorium. ..it seems our nervous system is hard wired to give food (our basic necessity) the ultimate priority.

So after dinner the couple hit the sack, and fortunately the thought of ending up like them desserted me and I continued reading.. the story of "The Zahir" unfolding in front of me word by word, propped up certain questions in my mind (Okay now you're wondering how could Suhas possibly end up reading "The Zahir" by . Infact itPaulo Cohelo.. Well i just tried to experiment. And no... I havent lost it or become too senti/philosophical, its a nice book, its the kinda book you would completely relate too when you have been married for 15 years or more... but hey ..its good anyways..) The protagonist(a successful author) refers to the relationship that any couple share as tracks which are parallel, much like our retired couple sitting across, each one programmed to carry along maintaining a constant distance of 143.5 cm......

(Its amazing its 143.5 cm and not 150... 70% of the world railway lines have been constructed keeping this distance in mind.. will deviate here and give you guys some gyan - The first train carriages were built using the same tools used to build horse carriages. Now the distance between the wheels of the horse carriages was decided by the width of the roads at that time, which in turn was decided by the Romans eons ago...when they built the first roads, and intriguingly this width was chosen to suit thier war chariots which were pulled by horses......)

Now that simply means, some smart ass at some point of time ..(obv ages ago) madeup rules to control the behaviour and minds of the barbaric nomads that walked the world... Rules about GOD, Religion, Concept of heaven and hell, concept of good and evil, marriage and SEX..etc etc....And so even now in the 21st century when we are more equipped as compared to the barbaric nomad then ...we still blindly follow these golden rules ... and the one who tries to question them is termed as a Social Outcast!!!... I think its time for a social revolution ... What say..!!!

Its Been a Hard Days Night..!!!

2005-10-22T02:25:00.000+05:30

Well...
I dint sleep like a log....

Event : Pasting from Boss
Time : 4:30 pm

So i start working feverishly to get the job done in order to fulfill my corporate "dharama"....
And obvisously as any human being would, yours truly desires to indulge in petty hedonism to end the day, as if to pay tribute to the hard work done.... :)

And.....Guess what I have two super heroes. Good ol' Saumya and Sabbu save the day. They comprehensively beat the "evil skullduggery"

Thanks Guys!!!

So.....

2005-10-02T01:09:00.000+05:30

So... I was stuck in the rains....(for the second time)
So... the results show that I am mediocre
So... I have been taken for granted...
So... Its not all hunky - dory ..

So... What....

But... I can try harder,
But... I will not take you for granted...
But... I won't give.. up...
But... I will continue .... to hope...!!!!

And.. I am Enlightened....

2005-09-08T00:58:00.000+05:30

Well yesterdays' events reminded me of the day... my father unveiled the Evil Ways of the world ... and then armed me with the magic mantra/(s)..."Everyone for himself/herself. There is nothing such as a free lunch.." blah blah...(you must have been through it...at some point in your life..)

But guess what "the lucky me" gets a second chance.. Its almost as if.. i hadnt quite understood and implemented the learnings of the first hearing...

So this time.. it was my Boss..well dont get me wrong I think it was pretty nice of him to reinstate the golden rules.... but i wont deny it.... it was wierd.. and kinda unnecessary

Well sitting across the table it was as if i was 21 again..

Boss - "Suhas, there are a few things i want you to know. Somethings which are necessary for you to implement if you want to grow... career wise.. in any organisation.."

Yours Truly - " Yeah...?" (nodding continuously to reinstate my eagerness.. I do that quite often, it makes the other person think i am all ears, whereas i may be pondering over totally different things....like should i go shopping on Saturday or... tommm..)

Boss - "Suhas, i have obsevered you closely over time, you are a very quiet worker an efficient one but ..."
Long pause...
Boss - "being technicaly skilled or correct all the times will not get you where you want to be. You have to be more outward... and more visble..."

(yours truly is still nodding)

Boss - "Your communication and interpersonal skills should outline your technical skills.. this will make you visible. "

Suhas - "Hmmm...yeah i guess..."

Boss - "Talk to people... inform them about what you do...highlight your victories.... You have to be street smart. You can only acquire power if you have a quest for it.."
(quest for power... yeah right!!!)

Boss(continues) - "I am not telling you have to start beeing crooked and play games right from the word go .... but you will have to learn it.. See even in politics everyone wants to be the CM/PM but only the street smart person wins...You cant be nice... everytime "

He notices a slight grimace on my face...

"You seem to disagree, what is it you have to say"

The grimace was more a " oh no not again .. type of expression"
(So now i had to reply.. and that too the reply had to be relevant with our topic of discussion and .. it would express a dissgreement whose degree would be in line with the expression on my face)
Anyways ... my grey cells ... functioned..(luckily)

Suhas - "Errr...Well.. sir I dont think it is something one can learn, and secondly you cant go against your inherent self...."

Boss - "you are right.. you can not unlearn the values you have been raised with... But again its time to redifine your values so that you will succeed"

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Now that i am doubly aware... be ready for a new beta version of Street Smart Suhas (I like the way that sounds.. hehehe), I may just fleece.. you.

P.S. Now that the secret is .. out.. dont get upset if i nod continuously and dont say anything when you are talking to me

Thumper Mania...!!!

2005-08-31T00:15:00.000+05:30

Well.. I tried my hand at riding a BIKE... and that too not your average bajaj, TVS, or hero honda. It was AN ENFIELD.... Umm basically Geo's bike, and guess what guys I did a pretty good job, It just stalled just "once".... from bandra to juhu.. Well thats good enough for the first time....

Hell .. cant wait to own one now...!!! But before that will have to convince mum and dad .. cause they dont feel that a bike is a sound investment at this point in time...and .. will have to obtain permission from the Goverment of Maharashtra to legally ride one on the roads...

Anyways that ride definitely took away the "simcat 1 blues."

Whats UP!!!!

2005-08-18T19:04:00.000+05:30

Twenty - "Some" years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

My Latest Musing !!

2005-08-18T00:23:00.000+05:30

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"HE" WHO IS "YOU"
=================

With the curtains pulled down
He welcomes you into his realm
Now in entirety He owns you
And you respond to no other sound
Your senses now His kingdom
Which He authoritatively does command
Your wish is as if it ceased
To exist,
"I am your master and you shall
Heed to none other Than Me"

Sometimes His visions seem
To shower upon you
A never ending bliss
Utopia that has been
Seldom witnessed
"Beware!!" He says
Before you soak in the pleasure
Satan’s workhorses are on their way
You try to flee but in vain

Sweat dripping down your face
You’re trapped in a maze of woven truth
Which you feel is completely misconstrued
Yet you keep your pace
Every now and then trying to steal
A quick glance back
At Them, who want you DEAD
You look for Him, your Master
Who has orchestrated this hideous spell
You trace Him not, but your assailants
Surely trace you

Your stomach knots up as
They advance upon you
Your heart quickens and your feet tremble
This cant be real
Your brain finally revolts against His will
He laughs fading away into the light
You regain your senses
And open your Eyes
Realising that it is "You" that was "He"

- Suhas Kulkarni

Battling Away

2005-08-17T01:02:00.000+05:30

Well a week into "the sabbatical” and I can proudly say little progress has been made. The proof my workpad, with more mathematical jargon scribbled in it than doodles. Also the ambitious action plan that now decorates my study table constantly reminding me of the road ahead.

So you would expect everything to be fine, ummm NOT EXACTLY. I end up with something I hadn’t bargained for. FEVER!!!. And that too, not the normal kind, it’s the hide and seek kind.

What are the chances!!! Hmmmpf!!

So, guys pray that this speed breaker does not metamorphose into a major road block…

Anyways moving on, read this one today – There is this scientist from some London University, who has …well… discovered a way of reducing the rate at which our planet is being warmed (green house effect). According to him, it is possible to put a hold on the whole global warming phenomenon by doping the clouds with salt spray. This would make the clouds whiter; enabling them reflect a greater portion of solar heat before it penetrates the green house gas layer. Thus reducing the quantum of heat energy that eventually gets trapped between this layer and earth. When performed over a period of time and over a large area, it will bring the entire process of global warming to a moratorium. According to this scientist if 30% of earths cloud cover is doped with this salt spray, it would ultimately negate the warming which has taken place over the past 20-30 years. (Disclaimer – The statistics are not very accurate.) He also has suggested means of amassing funds for these operations. Mr. Scientist suggests that the funds can be obtained by penalizing industries with a fee for every ton of green house gas they add to the atmosphere, above the designated permissible limit. Well something similar to the Carbon Credit funda of the Kyoto protocol.

Interesting!!! But this arrangement fails to look at the larger picture. It does not put a cap on green house emissions nor does it present a solution for vanishing rain forests, it’s like we are trying to patch a torn wedding gown. We should stop looking at quick fixes to negate climate changes cause... Mother Earth will not appreciate fast food!!

What say?

Back On Track

2005-08-14T02:29:00.000+05:30

The code has been CRACKED!!!

Super sleuth Suhas A.K.A Kulku-boy has once again managed to conquer life’s little mysteries, albeit with the help of his faithful side kick “TIME” and his three insurmountable weapons, those deadly needles.

HA HA HA…… (Evil Laughter).

Okay, all this simply means….

1. Mommy dear and Suma are still in Mumbai
2. NO BANGALORE till November
3. I get a month off, for Novembers face off
4. A decreasing waistline

Wow…Am I lucky or Am I lucky….HE HE HE HE …. (Wicked Laughter…)

Okay!!!! Enough Gloating, this is not what prompted me to update my peacefully hibernating WEBLOG.
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I may be a little late in publishing this post, but being a true Mumbaikar and a true Indian, I conveniently blame it on (guess what!!!) THE RAINS….!!!

So now, after "the eventful day" even though talks about adventurous return journeys to HOME sweet HOME, have somewhat withered out, it’s the epidemic that’s making the news. And as any SELF RESPECTING Indian citizen would predict, the civic authorities are turning a blind eye to the situation. And to top it, during the entire period, the media has left no opportunity to criticize the government and those in power for the happenings and the aftermaths of 26/7. Lot is being written and said about why Mumbai was so adversely affected by the deluge. The reason (according to the media guys) being “Hyper-urbanization” eventually leading to the deterioration of the city’s drainage system, the lack of a proper disaster management teams, so on - so forth,

Well all i can say is "As you sow, so shall you reap."

I believe – “Man fully deserves every wrath unleashed by Mother Nature taking into consideration the innumerable ways in which, he has tried to defile her grandeur.”

And "We" know for sure that this is just the begining.....!!!

Tale of Two Cities

2005-05-26T18:52:00.000+05:30

The last ten days have been what ud call a script of a "cliche bollywood flick" There was Action... Drama .... Suspense... (But becasue this is "MY" life no "SEX".... SIGH!!!!) Yes!! ten days two cities.... two very terrible overnight bus journeys...and lot of tension....

Yeah the two cities ..which from now might be the two cities of utmost imporatance in my life ... Banglore and Hyderabad...(NO I am not planning to get myself a job in a software multinational!!!..)

Family is shifting to Hyderabad (Will get confirmed by the weekend...) and I might end up getting transferred in Bangalore. The probability of the first event happening is 0.999999 and the second one is 0.5 low cause its conditional probability ... based on the event - Suhas QUITS. However if the second event does happen.. I'll then be used to "En... Da" during the week and "Yendra..." during weekends :)

Which in-turn means Good-Bye Maker Kundan Gardens...
Tough to leave a place u have been living in for the past 15 years..!!! SO after Varun, Anand, Sandeep. Sabrish and Vibha.. finally mera number agaya..!!!

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About Banglore...weather was awesome.... cause it rained and all.. but overall its not as bad as mumbai, the heat over here is killing, But everything else... was just so thanda..
Office .. Home..Sleep Office.... Far from the fun which i used to associate with Banglore a couple of years back...Well Nitin.. I should say banglore is "damn boring" without you.. DA!!!...

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Funny how someone leaves a comment about your comment... on someone elses blog... as anonymous.. Mr/Ms anonymous wrote that he/she loved my comment... Intresting.... for more on my writing capabilities.. read "THIS" space : ) ....

Say Bye Bye Mr. Solution Architect and Hello Mr. VP

2005-05-12T22:48:00.000+05:30

Q. How will you feel if you are made VP of the largest Indian engineering company for one day?

I have a very well rehearsed answer to this..thanks to the seminar i attended. :)

Just before the seminar, when we were being escorted to the seminar hall, i found myslef surrounded by people who had an average work- experience equivalent to my age.!! The average age of the entire group with out me was about 45!!!... All MDs, GMs and other chotta companies ka bada log.

So to match the rest of the gang, on the guest sheet, written next to my name were the words I never would have associated with me till atleast another 20 years.... The words were "Vice President." I was like .. "Woah.. baby!!!!"

To meet the expectations of the title given to me, I defiantly pulled out a pen and signed the sheet with a (momentarily acquired) VP type finnese....After a few seconds the delegate yanked the sheet from my hand and thrust the documentation pack into my hands, pullling me out of my state of momentuousness... To tell you the truth this incident tops my "3 seconds of absolute importance" list. Nikhil too had his share of "3 seconds of absolute importance" feeling, cause printed next to his name were the words - "Sr. DGM"

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Ohhh... all the time duing the seminar i was reminded of apna GK's "love" for the gujju community. Right now I must say Girish, I always thought you used to exaggerate whenever you described them. Well now i think you are absolutely right...!!

Here is what happened!...
Name of Seminar : Mission to Indian Navy
Purpose : To introduce requirements of Indian Navy to Indian Industry

Act 1 - Scene 1

On our way to this place I was discussing with Nikhil how we should have worn a tie and that we will be the only ones dressed "not so'' formally.

But fortunately.....at the entrance we noticed apna Ramink Bhai.... hailing from Bhavnagar, Gujrat with the first three buttons of his shirt undone, walking with a completely unrefined swagger. Not to mention after looking at him I felt very suave.

Act1 - Scene 2
When we reach the intended destination, apna ramink bhai charges past a couple of naval officers waiting for the lift. Yes!!! those officers were waiting for arround ten minutes to get into the lift... and to top it off ramink bhai shouts out to Patel bhai.."Patel Bhai -- aiyyaa aaoo, Jaldi". Patel bhai also manages to shove the two officers aside to enter the lift. Lift door closes... leaving the two officers staring at each other.

Act 1 - Scene 3
(Lunch Time)
Ramink Bhai still with top three buttons of his shirt open tries to initiate conversation with naval officers, fails miserably. In the mean time the helper, puts a plate of chips on the counter. A group of people (including officers) gather arround the plate and are picking one or two at a time.

Now enter Ramink Bhai..!!! Shoves people aside grabs the plate, walks over to the seating area, thumps the plate on the glass side table near the couch, and shouts out to Patel bhai...."Aiyya avi jao, Baisi Jaaoo ne ... aiyaa..."

People at the counter are still trying to recover from the tyrannies of the "chip pirate."

I must say ...with due respect... business class gujju discipline and naval officers' protocol of conduct are far from being similar!!!!
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P.S. Please to be noting I still love Khaman, Dholka and Khakra...!!!! :)

Somehow thought I should upload this....

2005-05-11T21:50:00.000+05:30

============
Icarius
============
Their sights transfixed on the other
Blood thirsty swords drawn
Wishing to slay one another
His heart betrayed him as he looked on
Icarius t'was, dearer than his brother

His mind flew back to a time
Not long before, Icarius and he
Rode on together like music and rhyme
Calling out to each other in sheer glee
With love which like an eternal star did shine
"Icarius I'll give my life for thee"

A friendship which others swore by
Mysteriously vanished as the deserts rain
He never would beguile
They ponederd, but in vain
Repeled by disgust, trust would die

The news of mistrust spread far and wide
The face of the enemy sure did glow
And in pludendering the two kingdoms he took pride
Leaving them to think friend hath turned foe
He swore "Icarius I shall skin thy hide"

Now with the bloody edges drawn high
To decease the others throat
Both still could hear their hearts cry
Not knowing when the sword cut the metal coat
Icarius cried out with bloody tears "WHY ?"

- Suhas Kulkarni

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Written by urs truly sometime back...!!! :)

Ingeniously Indegenised

2005-05-11T19:30:00.000+05:30

Date : 12th September 2030
Location : Mumbai, India

Our not-so average inquisitive, studious 13 year old urban school boy... (not into durgs, still a virgin) switches on his swanky new pocket server, activates the voice command function. A little while later he bursts out.."Connect to the net". The palmtop echos back in a 1950 american radio jocky ishtyle "Online".
Boy : "Search India's roadmap to becoming a super power"
Jazzy palmtop : "30,322 searches found"
Boy scrolls down and says "Give me more details on search entry number 23"
Jazzy palmtop : "One moment please"
After a while page is loaded, boy goes through the webpage and shouts at the jazzy palmtop in a enthuasistic tone, consciously making an effort that his excitement does not change his accent, "Engage Bluetooth"
Jazzy palmtop : "Bluetooth engaged"
Boy : "Print page"
Jazzy palmtop : "One moment please.....Page printed"
Boy - (after getting the print) "Disengage bluetooth"
Jazzy palmtop : " Bluetooth disengaged"
Boy : "Initiate shutdown"
Our boy has now completed his history assignment for the next day, so hits the intercom and calls Bunty.
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This is what our able defence ministry is trying to achieve, India- a superpower in the near future. I completely vouch for this dream and am totally comfortable with the fact a major chunk of the tax I pay is being utilised for this purpose.

Now question them as to, how this dream shall become a reality, they reply " Presently the Indian armed forces are looking to interact with the burgeoning Indian Industry. Through this interaction we intend to build competetive units that shall indegenously manufacture sub-assemblies and equipments that go onboard aircrafts, ships, tanks etc. Through this excercise we intend to become self-reliant, and self-reliance is the first step to becoming a super power."

Point well taken. Indegenisation, self-reliance all nice terms to use, sounds very nice. Well.. on the outset you would think.."Yaar its possible."

Then you look at the list of items these folks want to indegenise. You look at the list and say "Hey,wait a minute... this list consists of basic spares... ummm Valves, gaskets, bearings, bolts, fasteners....."

Bingo!!! The very technological advanced Indian industry is only capable of manufacturing spare parts. NOT CRICTICAL SYSTEMS..!!! When confronted they sheepishly say, "Indian Industry does not have the capability to build such critical systems, It is the question of human lives and survivability..(oh.. and my personal best...) mission criticality."

The sad part is that we still depend upon the Goras for critical systems and invariably place blind faith in the quality and "mission criticality" of the same . Ohh and we so.. dont know about the Russian submarine disaster and Columbia space shuttle disaster and other such misadventures. Well as far as i remember the component that failed and caused these catastrophies... wasnt labled "Made in India."

Moving on.. we also seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that the Goras are taking us for a ride. And yet we are the same people who take pride in writing software for the Goras tax managment consultant and unknowlingly justify the amount of tax the average Gora is paying for the development of "mission critical" systems, by purchasing them for protecting our ass. Ohh and please to be noting the same software engineers' income tax is used to purchase these mission critical items.

Whatever happened to the real meaning of indegenisation which involves rigourous design and development programmes to come up with a good quality INDIAN mission critical system. Its not that we dont have the grey matter in the country. If they can claim to write the most efficient tax managment and complex supply chain managment softwares, they must be having commendable amount of thinking matter.

Only thanks to our current president this theory may become the order of the day.. Soon. Yeah by soon i mean a time frame in years equivalent to the number of days i took to shift to New Mumbai.!!

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(Mr Blog : You made me feel miserable for not being able to upload stuff for a couple of days. Hope this update pacifies you for the time being)

this is your blog speaking....

2005-05-10T15:11:00.000+05:30

please please please...blog!!

you know it is so embarassing that people open me almost every other day...and when they see that i have nothing new to show them they just move on to something else...it's very depressing..they will stop checking me out if you do not blog more often...and that will just kill my spirit...

hence kindly oblige...

Thank God Its Friday!!!

2005-05-06T12:06:00.000+05:30

Took the day off... to reflect upon my career plans and delve into the realms of my inner self to find out "Why am I here..???" ... Ohhh who am i kidding, all that is unchartered territory for me.

Right now its about the MBA blues that hits me every now and then, often feel giulty about not being able to devote enough time to study. But hey!! I am working and studying after travelling from Mahape to Juhu is "suhasly" impossible (Please note .. i have used suhasly instead of humanly) cause people keep coming up with cliche's like "where there is a will there is a way" and "Nothing is impossible in this world", blah blah. Here is what is impossible..." Travelling from Juhu to Mahape using a single public transport". Mr Chief minister how about taking this into your "Things to do to actually make peoples lives better" list.

Anyways as promised I will be shifting soon to Navi Mumbai, although this "soon" has taken about 150 days. Kopar Khirane here I come..!!!

Well of late I have been bitten by this "I can change the way things work" bug, well to start off - We (which includes some of my very able collegues) intend to change the way projects are documented, further extending the same to a standard format.
Keeping my promise of coming up with a "song of the moment/day"
Its.
Ohhh.!! Yuva Yuva Oh Yuva!!

and what mare am damn confident that WE will pull it off..!!

The Grand Debut...

2005-05-04T21:00:00.000+05:30

Finally I shall be able to publish mindless jargon on the Wild Wild Web... This after endless attempts to get a god-damned blog address. One of the attempts being - "ihatemurphy.blogspot.com" , this was obviously after a million other attempts. The only successful one being Godisprobability.blogspot.com. Neways thanks Vibha :)

Well to start of it was a day marred by misinterpreted e-mails. Barve and to some extent Saumya will stand testimony to this fact.... and strangely I kept singing "Thats me in the corner, Thats me in the spotlight, Losing my religion!" which somehow seemed more appropriate after planning my performance for 05-06.

Yeah, thats right "Losing my religion" is my "Song Of the Day" And if you are wondering-Yes I belong to the school of thought which believes that every human emotion can be represented by a song. (Mindless bollywood musicals do tend to influence you..)

Moving on... after the performance planning ordeal, I have to now churn out a detailed action plan for each of my objectives. How all this is going to materialise is still a mystery to me... And it doesnt really help when you spend two days punching in all sorts of search keywords on google.com to figure out the right type of control architecture for a certain system which ends up being washed out from the "Probable Order" board.

Hmmph!... All the effort for nothing.
Might as well end by....

"Thats me in the corner.
Thats me in the spot-light
Losing my Religion"

2005-05-03T10:19:00.000+05:30

hello..testing..123